Imagine going from Kayne West to Wiz Khalifa-

In the recent King Magazine issue (yes, it is still in circulation), Amber Rose covers the July/August 2011 issue of The Women of King displaying her greatest ass-sets. Even though we’ve seen these same poses over and over and over again, Rose talks candidly about her relationship with Wiz Khalifa, how she’s viewed in the media and her past stint with Kanye West. Rose also walks us through the time period of being Kanye West’s former girlfriend and meeting Wiz Khalifa.  After reading the interview, I was left wondering is it okay to compare your ex to your current relationship? I know we do this subconsciously but how much bearing does our ex have on our newly embarked relationships/journeys.

Rose made a valid point- probably the last time you’ll hear me say that- when she said there’s no comparison:

What’s the difference between this relationship with Wiz and your last with Kanye?
The thing of it is…how can I say this without sounding crazy or mean? I’m sorry.

No need to apologize, the floor is yours.
There’s no comparison in personalities. You know when people say how do you go from Kanye to Wiz Khalifa, that’s a downgrade. But the only question I can ask them is: have you ever dated Kanye? Because I have, and believe me, I did not downgrade at all. Not in any aspect, at all.

Let’s compare, Kanye West compared to Wiz Khalifa; Wiz Khalifa compared to Kanye West. Honestly, there’s no comparison. Then again I’m not too familiar with either of them. Unlike Rose, I’ve never been in a relationship with West or Khalifa. I’m sure she could come up with a list of comparisons on why the two are different. Shouldn’t they be different?

Sometimes we fall into the trap of comparing our current relationship to our ex.  I know I’ve compared my imperfect self to the next person my ex dated but of course I thought I was the perfect candidate. And I’m sure vice versa. Subconsciously.

I’ve reached a point in my life where I feel like I should look for the total opposite of what I was dating previously. Maybe total opposite is an exaggeration but you get the picture. The adage really sticks with me, “If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you always got.” Therefore the next person I date, I don’t want them to share all the characteristics of my ex.

Aren’t relationships built on learning from each other? I personally wouldn’t want to be involved with someone if I wasn’t gaining anything from them. I’m looking for a mutual benefit here. I don’t want to date anyone where growth isn’t taking place. To me, relationships are all about growth. Growth should head in the positive direction though. I have had plenty epiphanies since my last relationship. It’s great point at the end of the relationship where growth and maturity from the last relationship really kicks in.

An important part of any relationship is evaluation, during the relationship and even afterwards. Evaluation is an important part many couples miss. Effectively evaluating your situation is important when moving on after a break up. This is the period where you can really examine and figure out what you need in your life: is it more attention, more space, more financial stability, etc.

It’s great to learn from past experiences, but don’t expect the same behaviors, qualities and characteristics to carry from person to person. If you’re looking to date the same person in a different body, why not stick with that prior body. If you find yourself at this point just hook back up with your ex. Don’t waste the next person’s time- save a tree.

–Drew-Shane Daniels is a Philadelphia based writer maneuvering through life and graduate school. He’s the creative genius behind the project www.heardhimsay.com, his daily blog where he offers his two cents on lifestyle, sexuality and pop culture issues. His work has been featured on Global Grind, Soul Train, Clutch Magazine, Krave Magazine, theFreshXpress and BET.com. You can also follow him on Twitter@drewshane.